NFGGO DIARY ENTRIES FOR JULY 2009
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FILIA
Featured One Liner for 07/30/09
"Count to ten before you speak!"
NFGGO Comment:
Sometimes you may need to count to 20 or even 30+ and sometimes it’s better to let it pass altogether. Wisdom and discernment can be very useful tools in life especially when sought in truth.
Here are photos from the Boston Launch Party.
Eating, Drinking and Sharing Stories!
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Featured Story for 07/30/09
"Irony can be a Beauty Thing"
I was in the nail salon the other day. There was an older man getting a deluxe treatment on his hands and feet. As the two Asian women worked diligently on his nails and toes, he spoke to them loudly so that even though I was several feet away, I could hear him.
“American women are spoiled,” he complained. The women kept working. “They don’t even cook!” he exclaimed. Finally, one of the women asked if he was married. He said no, he had never been married and that he “went from one woman to another” trying to find the “right” one.
Of course that brings up the question the right what?!
I believe men should get manis, pedis, facials and the like, but honestly, I sat there in amazement, thinking that he wasn’t exactly doing “manly” things like, say, laying brick or wrestling crocs.
What really struck me was how completely blinded he was to how he sounded. Again, not so much because of what he was saying, as we all know there are many people out there that share his view, but at the irony of his statements given he was being “pampered” (like a “woman”) at the time.
I didn’t say anything to him because really what’s the point. I mean if I thought for a second it would help I would have, but it’s not like he’s going to say “oh, now I see. Thank you!” More likely, it would have just created a bad situation for everyone in the shop. So I just mentally made a note of it to share the story with NFGGO.
NFGGO Comments:
What an interesting observation and good use of restraint and insight.
Many people do not connect the dots; especially when it comes to themselves. Those same people may often be the ones who are quick to judge others; though what and how they think or say they don’t seem to question. Self reflection is not always easy but when done truthfully and without fear can be beneficial not only for ourselves but for those around us.
Anyone else want to share their comments?
Featured One Liner - 7/10/09
"Almost everything in life is negotiable!"
NFGGO Comment:
Whether relationships, work hours, buying a car (which is so much fun … no, really), or even tires (yes, tires!), mastering the art of negotiating is an essential life skill. Try it, you may like it and you may find out that you are really good at it. And remember if at first you don’t succeed…
Have a negotiation story you want to share, love to hear it?
Featured Story - 7/10/09
“Mani for All”
The other day I was in one of the “millions” of little mani/pedi places that have sprung up in the past 10-15 years. The place was very busy and as I wrangled into the chair for my spa pedi, I was surprised by how many women were there with their young daughters. I said to myself aloud, “Wow, lots of little ones here. My mom never took me to get my nails done.”
I was equally amazed when my pedicurist and the two women on each side of me responded and said their moms did not either. A short discussion ensued and ended with a resounding agreement on how nice it was to see that women are taking care of themselves and teaching their daughters to do the same.
As I quietly thought more on the subject, I started thinking about my mom. Of course, she never took me: to this day, she still has not had her nails done professionally, tips or toes. It just wasn’t done. Back in the “ancient” days of my youth, there weren’t the gazillion shops there are today. It was considered in my “circles” to be a luxury, expensive, not very conducive to our lifestyle and never really even spoken about as something that I should do.
There were, naturally, those girls in high school who were totally put together. I remember one time at the beach with a bunch of classmates; I looked at one of the girl’s perfect toes with the pink polish and thought how lucky she was to have such pretty feet. In my naivety, I just thought she was born that way (not the pink of course). It never occurred to me that she may have had them “done.”
My mom has great nails which require little maintenance, which, sadly, I did not inherit! I finally “discovered” manicures in my 20’s and then watch out! I had acrylics so long I had to use my knuckles to dial the phone and push elevator buttons, not to mention my new way of holding a pen. Typing also required a new set of muscles and joints! Shortly thereafter I discovered the transforming effect of a pedicure. The acrylics no longer are applied but the mani/pedi is a staple in my life.
I still have cousins and friends who have not “indulged” though I am giving it the old college try to convert them. My mom, I fear, will never get there. It’s a shame because for all the work she’s done in her life, she really should have taken the time and the little money and treat herself to a few minutes of self time.
NFGGO Comments:
Being well-groomed is key and learning about it at a young age can be a very good thing. Men are getting in on the action more and more as well which, btw, NFGGO LOVES! And let’s not forget facials and massages! Even if you are modest and not into massages, at least try a facial!
In this economy, these are usually the first things to go when looking at your budget. But a manicure nowadays can run just a few dollars and makes you feel oh, so special. Manis, pedis, facials, and massages can feel like a mini vacation at a fraction of the cost. So if your finances allow, try one or all.
Anyone else want to share their “discovery” of the beautiful world of manis/pedis?
Featured One Liner 07/01/09:
My mom said, "Moudi, big girls don't cry."
NFGGO Comment:
…And neither do men, we suppose?! Don’t know how that saying got started…but it is indeed a crazy talk line!
We all cry! And crying can be considered good and healthy!
Crying can be a great way to relieve tension.
Crying can express emotion when there are no words left to say.
Crying can show that we touch and are touched by others.
Crying can show that our emotional lives are healthy and thriving.
Crying is not necessarily negative, we cry at happy occasions as well.
Crying can be a religious experience.
…And the list goes on!
Of course, this is barring any medical, psychological, emotional, or physiological conditions which should be addressed with professionals immediately.
But a good cry from time to time can be beneficial to everyone, (big girls and guys included).
Featured Story 07/01/09:
“Here We Go Round”
Here is a bit of "Crazy Talk":
A verse that has been taken as advice that I have heard go around for many years. I do not know the origin of where it comes from ... so maybe someone out there does; but it makes crazy nonsense to me. Here it goes:
"If you love something set it free, if it comes back, it is yours;
If it doesn't, it never was."
So I ask if two people in love with each other play the same game, what good is it?
Now, I heard the same verse used in a movie with a different ending: "… if it comes back it is broken." Actually, it is refreshing to hear a twist on it.
By any account, this is crazy talk to me and causes things to go nowhere at times ... or just waste time.
What do you think?
NFGGO Comment:
Actually, never thought about it, thanks for the submission!
But you are right, if both people let each other go and wait to see if the other person comes back, nothing will come of it! Which would probably be a good thing, because playing games is not the way to truth, understanding, trust and long term relationships, whether it is lovers, friends or family.
Of course, that does not mean we don’t need to figure how and when we need to approach certain subjects with each other, but the motivation for that should be respect, caring and concern for the other person, not as a means to get what you want at any cost. Sometimes, others are just not in a good place to handle certain being.
That being said, the comment at hand is usually used when one person is running from a relationship and the other is somehow trying to keep that person in it. Sometimes, it is best to let things go and see what happens. But that only is true if it is because we really believe what is meant to be will be and NOT as some sort of manipulation. We all know that never works in the long run.
And, of course, if they do come back it could be for a myriad of reasons:
NFFGO’s alternate ending is:
If it comes back, be careful and have both eyes wide open.
We should explore why it is back and why/if we want it back.
All of life is about learning and growing especially in regards to ourselves.
Have an alternate ending you want to share? Please submit to FILIA and reference “Here We Go Round.”
