Not For Greek Girls Only - Stop the Crazy Talk

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Throughout the years, we probably have all had many types of friends: Best Friends; Acquaintances; Work Buddies, School Mates; here's a few more that you may have come across or perhaps will:

There's the Fair Weather Friends (FaWF). The ones you hang out with but the moment you need anything of substance from them; they are gone. They are only there when times are good and being a friend is easy and breezy. More like an acquaintance but with more interaction as you probably have some things in common that you enjoy doing together. FaWFs are deceptive because until something real happens, they appear to be close friends. But at least you know they are around for some fun times and good at parties.

There's the Foul Weather Friends (FoFW). The people who call you with all of their problems with: their jobs, finances, parents, family dramas; and usually especially with their heart break with their boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. Then one day, all of a sudden, without a reason or notice, they don't include you when the problems you spent days, weeks, months and possibly years helping them with come to the conclusion they were trying to reach. Now, they are too busy to share the good and positive things with you. The FoWFs seem to quickly forget all the times they called you in tears or shared intimate, personal information with you or sought out your advice and you patiently, no matter how busy you were, spent hours trying to help them sort through their muck. To be fair, you also probably involved them in your angst and problems, too because you thought you were close friends. And as such, you included them in your joys and good things as well, not only the bad. But like the FaWFs the FoFWs are deceptive and they only are around while they need something from you.

And then there are the All Weather Friends (AWF). Your true close, intimate, personal friends. AWFs are loyal, respectful and grateful for the friendship you share and you feel the same. No deception here; just honesty and trust. The people who share their lives with you and you with them no matter how busy each of you may be. All the stuff: The Good times and Bad; Tears and Laughter; Hopes and Fears and Dreams of our Lives. These are the friendships you cherish and the people you love.

May all the people in your life be All Weather Friends; because they are the only ones worth having.

Do you have any additional thoughts or a similar experience?
Click here and share FILIA.

"Love Conquers All."

NFGGO says: Only when it is true, genuine and not by force.

So. the other day I was having the same old conversation about dating. The person was telling me how his ex-girlfriend was only interested in what he could buy her and where he could take her. And even though he was not interested in a woman like this for a long term commitment, he thinks about calling her all the time. He looks at his phone and it takes everything he has not to call her. But he has succeeded in not calling her and starting the same game over again, because he wants more.

He said how he really wanted to get married and have kids, but couldn't find someone who was not interested in material things. How he was getting “old” (after all he just turned 30)! How his childhood friend was married when he was 18 and now has an 11 year old child and plays with her on Sundays at the park and what a fulfilling life his friend has. He, on the other hand, was alone and lonely and was out growing his single friends. I tried to tell him that he would find someone else, that not all girls are materialistic and that he just needs to have some time to get over his last relationship. He said he felt in his previous relationships he thought too much with his heart and needs to think more with his head. And at the end of our conversation, he said maybe he will call his ex-girlfriend and then after a moment said no, he will not.

We probably have all heardor had this type of conversation at one point or another. But what made me take notice of this one is that we barely spoke the same language. He spoke Spanish and knew only a few words in English. My Spanish consists of words like “more,” “water,” “good,” “a little,” “hello,” “how are you” and for some reason “ice.” And yet, we had the above “conversation” not verbatim of course, but the essence, ideas and topics where conveyed, sometimes more by indicating, but still communicated.

Afterward, I realized that one of the reasons we were able to successfully communicate is probably because of the universal theme of our “talk”. He probably heard what I was saying from others in his native language, and I certainly heard what he was saying multiple times in mine. I thought about Not For Greek Girls Only and Stop the Crazy Talk and how what had happened really was something that exemplified what this site and tag line really means so I thought I would share it. Love is international and knows no boundaries and when we need to talk, language barriers are overcome and we find a way to communicate and, hopefully, maybe even comfort and help each other.

Do you have any additional thoughts or a similar experience?
Click here and share FILIA.

Competing is part of our everyday lives. We may compete for the best parking spot in the lot, or a promotion, to be first in our class or to make more money. Sometimes, on cold nights we compete for the blanket. Sometimes to be recognized or to be loved. And sometimes, we compete just to become better. Though, personally, I do not think competition is in and of itself a bad thing, but like any necessary component in life, when pushed to its extreme, it can become detrimental and self destructive to ourselves and those around us even to the point of having an impact on the whole world. At the other extreme, monopolization is also not beneficial or constructive.

I recently had an experience with some people who were used to having things come easily to them in their business and basically had become used to being handed business without necessarily having to strategize too heavily. However, as their industry became more attractive to others and “competitors” rapidly emerged, they seemed to think that the new emerging entities did not have the same rights as they to try to make money as they did. Rather than looking at the positive aspects of variety and potential benefits of more interest in the new industry, they focused on the negative and tried to control who, what and where the new companies may go and conduct their business so as not to affect the “established” businesses in any way and allowing them to continue as they had in the past, more or less unfettered and unchallenged.

The public seems to have a much different view and welcomes all the new companies with enthusiasm and hope in that the spirit of entrepreneurship will help drive the overall economy to improve. But that didn't seem to phase the established companies. They didn't care what was best for the public, the city, the country or what was necessary for the industry to grow. because they were only looking at their own bottom line, how they, individually, were being affected ,which in their opinion was only negatively. The truth is that the positive most likely outweighed the negative not only for the industry, but for them too. Competition is necessary and can be good. It can drive industries to grow, it can help people and others beyond them, it can be the mother of invention as it becomes necessary to think in new ways and not become stagnant and rest on our laurels.

I guess some people do not want or like competition, though they themselves seem to be obsessively competitive. But maybe it is just when there is no real competition that this type of people and businesses thrive. So the question is are they truly competitive or just scared and insecure. It often seems when people and businesses are confident in themselves and their products, they do not feel the need to control the progress of others so that they may thrive and survive, because no one is really their competition. After all, don't we only really compete with ourselves? To be better than we once were and continue to evolve and grow in positive directions?

When you think about life - people, jobs, competitors, and the rest generally come and go but we are always with ourselves. Hopefully, we are striving to reach our next personal or professional goal regardless of what anyone else may be (or may not be) doing. Because there is only one finish line in life and at the end it really does not matter who you beat or who beats you, or how much you have over your neighbor, or if you pounded your “competitors” into the ground so you could make that extra buck instead of them, now does it?

Do you have any additional thoughts or a similar experience?
Click here and share FILIA.

NFGGO says: Sometimes, but not always in the same way or with the same result.

Well, another year has come and gone. But this year seemed different to me. Circumstances beyond our control (or at least beyond many people’s control) has changed the game once again. I noticed how this year, in many ways, was the great equalizer. Where some were considered the “superiors” to others, they now joined them on the unemployment line. Where one might have thought that their chosen career is what they were going to do until they retired, a whole new path emerged. Where the material things some once held so dear and valued much more than they should have, a new respect for the simple and really important things.

As for myself, I have been Blessed to come to a realization about myself, which was there all along but I just didn't fully connect the dots until now. I have done many things in my professional life and always aspired to be one thing in particular which I habe had some success at but have not yet reached my desired level in that field. However, in my pursuit of that dream, I have been caused to work at many things and for the most part was an independent; the environment in which I thrive best. As this year became more difficult financially and professionally it has once again caused me to look in other areas to earn my keep. As it turns out, this time, I reached all the way back to my teen years. Some may view this as going backwards, I look at it as a great learning opportunity and validation that all things we experience in our lives can come in handy if we just use and call on them regardless of others' opinions or when we acquired them. Like many, I have had many ups and downs in my professional life, and the downs are tough but can also inspire a new direction which can be very thrilling, bring fulfillment and joy. And that is once again the case.

So what is my realization? At my core, I am an entrepreneur. I like to start new things and see them reach there fullest potential, whatever that may eventually be. Knowing that each project has its own purpose, duration and amount of success that will be shown in its own due time. So as this year comes to a close, I encourage all to discover (or rediscover) their purpose, summon up all the experience in their bag of tricks acquired over a lifetime and don't be afraid to use them as the situation presents itself always asking guidance from above. Because God Creates good and perfect things and so if we create things for the betterment of ourselves and those around us, no matter how small it may seem, we are doing God's work. And when you are using the gifts God has bestowed on you according to what His will, nothing will ever keep you down for long.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to All!

Do you have any additional thoughts or a similar experience?
Click here and share FILIA.

At this time of Thanksgiving, I am reminded of all those who have helped me through the years and want to thank them as I know many have contributed to my successes.Recently, I had a conversation with someone who said that they didn't get anything from anyone. It surprised me to hear this as I know that many people have helped this person in many of the myriad of ways that people give and receive help on a daily basis.

The statement resonated in my mind along with other statements of the same kind which I've heard from time to time. I am amazed when I hear people, especially highly successful people, say things like “I don't owe anything to anyone” or “I did it by myself” or “Nobody helped me, I made it on my own”, etc. I would like to say, “Wow! Nobody ever helped you? Really? Not one single person ever?” I mean seriously doesn't that sound like Crazy Talk to you?

Look, I know I may not be nearly as successful as some others around me, but whatever I have achieved in my life, be personally or professionally, I know that I did not do it “on my own.” And though sometimes, for many different reasons, I can't reciprocate or express to those individuals directly, I hope I am able to help others as much as possible, knowing how much even the smallest of things may ultimately make a difference as it did and does to me.

So for those who say they are “self made” people and didn't get anything from anyone, perhaps you haven't yet succeeded in the way that really matters. After all, we don't live in a vacuum. I'd think that we all have been fortunate enough to be the beneficiary of someone's generosity (and yes, that means even you) at one time or another and often many times.. A teacher, a parent, a co-worker, a friend, a boss, and sometimes people we just met or don't even know. Just because you didn't “ask” for help doesn't mean you didn't receive and accept it. Sometimes help comes from our explicit request but sometimes from someone just seeing our need and freely giving it, whether we know about it or not, or acknowledge it or not.

And even if you can't think of one, single person who has ever helped you in your whole entire life, there is always God. Truly, all that any of us have or have achieved is by the Grace of God, even our very lives. So much for being self made or not getting help, wouldn't you say? At Thanksgiving time, let's try to give thanks in our hearts and souls to God and all those He has put in our lives and hope we have done our part in helping as many as has helped us.

Do you have any additional thoughts or a similar experience?
Click here and share FILIA.

It has been a while since I have traveled what with the economy and all. I usually fly one of the "no frills” airlines, which BTW is much improved than back in the day, but this time I flew on miles on one of the “better” airlines. If better means less for more money than someone should the dictionary to update the definition.

First, and yes I know it has been going on for quite some time, is the charge for baggage. Who thought of that one. Just upgrade the cost of the ticket $20 per person. No one would have known the difference since fares fluctuate so much and there is no rhyme or reason to the pricing any way. Yes, those that do not have to check baggage may pay for those who do, but all those years they were and no one seemed to care. Now, it's become impossible to pack for a trip and worse it seems everyone is trying to avoid the fee. Those who normally would have checked a bag are now overcrowding the luggage space on board. The weird thing is when in the jetway the workers were checking people's bags there! I am assuming it was for free; so what's the point? One person had 2 bags (not 1 bag and 1 personal item as we are all told) and got on the plane without a hitch with both!

Wish I knew that trick, instead I wore a t-shirt, 2 sweatshirts and coat to avoid the round-trip expenditure of $50 to check a bag. I don't think the sweatshirts cost that much. Also, my shoes had to come out of the overstuffed bag in order to fit in the overhead. And it's not even the money, well it is, but not only, it's the reminder that everything is being scaled back except the fares. Seriously the “no frills” airline give you more for less so if they do it; why can't the “better” ones at least allow your first bag free? Maybe they think the flight crews like watching everyone stuff their bags into the overhead compartment or want the exercise when having to assist. The rest of the service was not as good either; no food, which is now customary, just a very small bag of nuts (they did give us 2) and a drink for a cross country trip. The “not so good” airlines gives you unlimited real snacks at least.

And yes, the “better” airline gave us a blanket wrapped in plastic to protect from the various animal flus out there but with all the extra clothing I had it really was not necessary. And you get to select your seat ahead of time, but I'd rather check a bag than have to unpack on the plane and then repack, which never seems to work the same so I run around with a partially unzipped bag. Especially since the no frills airlines I usually fly have MUCH improved their seating and boarding.

I also saw first class on this particular airlines and I have to say, having flown first and business in the past, it was a glorified coach seat. I guess it was better than a middle seat in coach but in my opinion not if you had an aisle, like me. When I was fortunate enough to fly business years ago; it really was worth it. Now I'm not saying ALL the “better” airlines first/business class don't give you luxury service and great seats; they probably do and for a long trip probably worth every dime, but the one I was on would have been extremely disappointing. And yet the flight was packed. So maybe they know more than I do. Though I was on miles, and I suspect I wasn't alone on that one.

Maybe the focus has switched to safety, I hope so. 'Cause it seems we can carry it on most of the time. Though with the holidays and cold weather coming up get your cash out. No frills airlines, here I come, even more appreciative now having had the “better” experience.

Do you have any additional thoughts or a similar experience?
Click here and share FILIA.

From the web, I extracted that the Encarta® World English Dictionary, North American Edition defines it as:
1) ...designed or suitable for people of either gender
2) ...not distinctly of either the male or the female gender

Dictionary.com gives us these definitions:
–adjective
1. of, designed, or suitable for both sexes; not distinguishing between male and female; undifferentiated as to sex: unisex clothes.
–noun
2. the state or quality of being unisex.
3. unisex styles or fashions: a store specializing in unisex.

But what does unisex really mean? I think it depends on the circumstances. For instance, when talking about a piece of clothing or haircut or lunch special, it may very well mean suitable for both genders. However, when talking about a bathroom, the point can be argued that a fully equipped and functioning public facility is not something we should take lightly when it comes to the definition of unisex.

I mean there are certain bodily functions that we all do. And true even when provided a place to sit, many women prefer to hover. And yes, men can perform their functions sitting or standing (or at least that's what I have been told; though I am not sure why the subject came up or how). In that same vein, I have also been informed that some men may prefer urinals for a certain function, so long as there is a divider and they are NOT trough style. Fortunately, or unfortunately as the case may be, the urinal is mostly missing from the unisex bathrooms and some women are probably very happy about that, go ahead and conduct your own survey. You may find some say it is objectionable to even look at it.

On the other hand, there are certain necessities that women may have every or month or so which sometimes comes by surprise, and while women may find it it nice to have a dispenser to help in this situation, some men may really prefer it not be around. And let's face it, even if it is not a surprise, there's that little special container that some men may find objectionable. Another survey one may, or more likely may not, want to conduct, though you may find the outcome much like the one in the paragraph above.

On a side note, it is funny, how it is harder to find such dispensers even in clearly marked “women” restrooms. I hadn't noticed until recently, when I was in such a predicament and could not find a remedy. I had to ask the female server for help. Luckily, the diner had an emergency supply for their workers, which she kindly shared. Ever since then I have taking “inventory” and am surprised that such dispensers have mysteriously vanished for the most part. Though on occasion, I have found, even in the most benign places, they are replaced with other vending machines.

But I digress, back to the unisex bathrooms. While I understand space may be an issue in some establishments and that it really stinks to see no line for the men's room as you wait for your turn for the women's, room (or on occasion vice versa), there is still something to be said about having your designated rooms with all the accoutrements that one gender may appreciate, while the other, well, not so much; or at least have no use for. So in the case of bathrooms, whenever possible, perhaps unisex should mean just one sex.

Do you have any additional thoughts or a similar experience?
Click here and share FILIA.

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Click here FILIA to submit (and because of the so-called “ntropi” [shame!] ... you can submit anonymously ... ah, the beauty of the internet).

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The NFGGO Story:
It started at birth. People all around said things that didn't ring true, because it wasn't ... it was "Crazy Talk." No one was really talking about the Crazy Talk but they were listening to it and letting it affect their lives and decisions, sometimes quite dramatically. The need to stop "it" was great, though it would not be easy. It was not part of mainstream, everyday "polite" conversation. Until recently, progress was slow, depending solely on individual encounters under the correct circumstances. The stories were all too similar; the challenges familiar. A better way to share all those "Crazy Talk" stories and reach out to more like-minded people at once was needed ...
thus, NFGGO was born.

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